We’ve all been in relationships where the spark suddenly dimmed, and we had no idea why. One moment we were overwhelmed with all of the love and affection, and the next, our partner was distant. Before we knew it, the relationship was over. 

What happened? We torture ourselves trying to figure out what went wrong. We tell ourselves that we gave them everything. We made them our entire world. Little do most people realize that is precisely the problem. When you put yourself on the back burner and forget to love yourself in the relationship, things tend to come to an abrupt end. 

Maybe you have heard it said before, you can’t love someone else until you love yourself. Perhaps you have found yourself wondering exactly how you are supposed to love yourself. This is a problem that many people face. But it is also something that can easily be solved. 

  • Love yourself the way that you want others to love you. You know all of that attention that you pour on your partner? Pour it onto yourself. Instead of waiting on someone else to do kind things for you, do kind things for yourself. Would you allow someone to take from you and give it to someone else all of the time? Why do you do it to yourself? If you would not let another person to treat you a specific way, do not continue to treat yourself that way. 

If you want to find a partner who treats you like you are the best person they have ever met, you have to treat yourself that way as well. Spend time focusing on your goals and following your dreams. Remember how special you are and concentrate on cherishing yourself. Treat yourself like a treasure, and your partner will as well. 

  • Never accept bad behavior. This is one of the most important things that you can do. You must set boundaries and stick to them. You cannot be inconsistent when it comes to your boundaries letting some behaviors slide sometimes. This is only going to cause problems. Once a person gets away with crossing your boundaries once they will do it over and over again. If a person crosses your boundaries, put an end to it right away. Stand your ground and walk away from the situation. 
  • Don’t drop your plans for other people. If you have plans and someone expects you to drop them to do what they want to do, don’t. They should take your plans into consideration. If they want to spend time with you, they can work around your schedule. You have allowed people to think that you are going to do whatever it takes to hang on to them by canceling your plans whenever they want to hang out with you. Don’t do this anymore. Live your life, and if you have time, then you can hang out with them later. 

Your time is precious. It is important that the people around you know this. If your significant other wants to call you when they are out with your friends, let them know where you are and tell them that you will call them back when you get home. If they decide to call you last minute to see if you are free Friday night and you have plans, let them know you are busy. They’ll get the picture. You are unique, and no one should make you feel less than that. 

  • Independence is amazing. When you are with someone, and they begin to feel like your happiness is dependent upon them, they will begin to pull away from the relationship. No one wants to think that they are responsible for another person’s happiness. The truth is that no one should have that responsibility put on them. However, when you start focusing on your own life and stop depending on them to make you happy, they start feeling lucky to be with you. Instead of feeling that they are in some boring relationship that is dragging them down, they are thrilled to spend their time with you. 
  • Love spending time alone. One of the most essential parts of having a successful relationship is to love spending time alone. How many people in relationships shudder at the thought? You should actually look forward to it. You are the most incredible person that you have ever met! 

If you can enjoy spending time alone, you never have to worry about keeping the interest of your partner. Your self-love is going to show as a bright gem, and your partner is going to enjoy every second that they spend with you. 

Sadly, many people have been taught that loving ourselves is something that is wrong or that we should be ashamed of. We have been told that it is selfish to think that we are worthy of love, respect, and kindness. That instead, we should be humble as we walk around with our heads held low. 

Well, I say hold your head high as you learn how to love who you are. Celebrate yourself and treat yourself with the respect that you deserve. When you start treating yourself with respect and love, you are going to notice that other people are going to start treating you the same way. Don’t be surprised when those of the opposite sex start coming up to you regularly, wanting your attention. 

Tell yourself every day that you love yourself and remind yourself of your value. Ensure that you stand up for yourself whenever someone makes you feel as if you are not worthy. 

Healthy relationships happen when two people love themselves first and make themselves the first priority. Only then will they be able to make another person happy. When we accept our own flaws, we have the ability to accept the weaknesses of those around us. We are able to grow into people who have successful relationships that can last a lifetime.